I turned 26 this July. And it’s funny when I realize how many of the beliefs I carried all the way up until 26 were useless. I mean, so totally, brutally, useless. I—like many say—wish somebody had told me these things earlier. Be it about relationships or business or about people and life in general.
We like to think that everything we need to know about life is in youtube videos, books or articles like these. Or in advice and guidance we receive from people in our lives. But that’s not true, as I, and many people, find out the hard way. The above things help, of course. But only to a certain degree. The most effective form of learning is life’s experiences. You have to live it, to learn from it. There’s no other form of learning that is as effective as that.
Then why the hell do I write it here, you ask? Well, somebody’s got to be an informer.
1. Stop the fuck thinking you don’t have enough time left to do the things you have always wanted to do.
There is a scene from a Comedy skit in Temple Monkey’s youtube channel wherein a grandpa asks a guy how fast he can ride his motorcycle. The dude would say, “100 km/hr”. Grandpa wouldn’t flinch when he shoots back saying, “avlo Vaegama poi enna pudunga pora?” Which means, in Tamil, “Which racing championship are you so desperate to win speeding that fast?” Grandpa’s funny giggle would ensue that rejoinder.
I won’t be a Garyvee now consoling you that 40 is the new 20. But dude, like wtf, you are just 22 and crying you haven’t become a millionaire already? Screw social media show-offs, they are trying to sell you courses. You have so much life ahead of you. Put in the work. Concentrate on that. Thinking you don’t have enough time will only make you even more depressed. That won’t do you any good.
So instead of comparing yourselves with these flashy, phoney people, focus on trying out different things. When you finally zero in on something that you think would work out, throw yourselves into it. Prepare to put in the real hard work and give it everything you have got.
Which brings us to the next and the most important thing… Hardwork..
2. Don’t be a coward asshole and keep running away from the real effort
There’s no such thing as a free lunch. And the farther you run from the real effort, the messier things get; and longer the recuperation period will be. Embrace the fact that the work is going to be tough, and that you are going to do it anyway. This mindset will save you tons of time and energy.
Your intensity of hard work should advance with age. Your mind resists any thought of hard work, because it means more work to it and your mind has to get out of its comfort zone. The same way you need to pregressively overload weights in gym for maximum muscle growth, you need to increase the intensity of hardwork with age to level up in life. Remember, you were doing additions and subtractions in 2nd grade but calculus in 11th grade. You get the idea.
So stop being a little bitch and roll up your sleeves.
3. Don’t be unnecessarily kind to people. Save that time and energy for something useful.
That’s it. I don’t think there’s any further explanation needed for that.
4. Network with people—with everyone that matches your energy and vibe.
Someone with a good network can do a job in two hours which will take several weeks and months for the one without. Likewise, networks keep the fire inside you burning. They inspire you. On a day when motivation is lacking, aren’t you more likely to be inspired to work out inside a gym than in your home gym?
Besides, the butterfly effect is highly sensitive in networks. You will reach your ambitions way faster with a good network of people. Name any field and you can’t progress without a good network..
5. Don’t take “Do what you love” in the literal sense
Indeed, you should do what you love. But that doesn’t mean you should be just rubbing your ass in your room all day, reluctant to do any other job to fend for yourself. Your ego only eats away your life. “Whatever it takes” mindset will take you farther than any amount of thinking does. I know you have heard enough examples of people who started off working odd jobs before finally making it.
6. Forget people but don’t forgive them
Disinfecting your life of toxic people will save you medical bills. And will save you and your family unnecessary stress and anxiety. Get rid of them. How to know when is the right time to sack them from your life? Well, the first time they do something that confirms you they’re a bitch.
Once a bitch, always a bitch. I know there are enough circus clowns out there, but if you want to become one more, forgive them and forget their mistakes.
7. Be slow to anger
Besides the sharp, painful feeling you feel down your chest for yelling at your Mom or Dad 20 years from now, anger can make you paralysed and can be lethal to you. You know, BP, diabetes, and brain stroke? Not a joke brother. Anger will break you(sometimes will make others break your bones or face) and break the hearts of people around you. Avoid anger. Buy a boxing bag and vent your frustration and anger in that. Or go climb Mount Everest or run an Ironman or something.
8. Porn – The Virtual Nuke
No amount of advice can stop someone from watching porn. Unless they decide to quit it, once and for all. The worst thing about porn is not that it damages the cognitive function of your brain, but that it takes away hundreds of thousands of hours of your life. Hours and days that are meant to be lived and made use of in this limited time you have got on this earth. Time, that if used properly, could give you real freedom and happiness..
And most of all, since you are training your brain to be aroused by seeing other people having sex, you are pushing yourself to become a cuckold sooner than later. Good luck with that. Porn makes you obsessed with physical/superficial features of people. To the point that even if you get to sleep with the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, you probably won’t get an erection because they have a little scar on their nose.
You see, porn actors go through a number of surgeries to look a certain way—from their facial features to body parts. And what you see in porn isn’t how people look while actually having sex. From the lighting to the camera angles, everything is skillfully cinematically exaggerated to keep us enticed to the content. What’s more and worse, porn consumption makes you look at people as mere objects.
Porn is like a nuke or some virtual coronavirus Satan came up with to nuke your growth in life and stop you from reaching your potential. The best time to quit is now. Spend more time outside, with friends or go somewhere you like. Identify your trigger sources and get rid of them. When you get the thought of it, phone your friends and talk to them randomly or spend time with family. If you have a hobby, cool, transmute that energy into that hobby.
If none of these things work and you seem to have no control over it, talk to a therapist. There is no shame in it. That’s far better than wasting a major chunk of your life watching porn. You’ll save your marriage, other relationships, your peace, and your life as a whole. In the words of some spiritual guru, “You didn’t come here to just waste time watching other people having sex.”
9. Start to meditate – It helps you improve concentration, focus, helps reduce stress—therefore better health and happiness.
10. Start Investing and Saving – There will come a time in your future when a sudden opportunity or idea jumps right in front of you for which money could be an extremely helpful launchpad. You will be kicking yourself if you haven’t saved some money that could have been of any help to that endeavour.
11. Don’t touch your acne and pimples, and don’t squeeze them for God’s sake. Get medical help asap. Have the discipline to follow the instructions of the physician.
12. Don’t be intimidated by a task by its enormity. Want to write a novel? Break it into days. If you write 1100 words a day, at the end of three months you will have a 100,000 word novel. Break down everything this way. Any task of any scale can be simplified this way.
13. Move out of your home
When you’re on your own, you’re forced to use everything you’ve got to survive in life. To eat, to have a place to stay, gas, etc… When you have people supporting you financially, there’s no way you’re going to come out of your comfort zone and do the real work. Get out now, it’s time for a metamorphosis.
14. People don’t care about you. Stop thinking what other people would think of you.
Start that youtube video, shortfilm, business or blog. Even if you fuck it up so badly, they might think of it for a few minutes and then their life gets in the way; the same way people forget you shortly after you are dead. Every seasoned master was once a beginner and it’s the continuous learning that matters. If you are scared at the idea of looking noob, you will never learn anything new.
15. Your mind isn’t a great predictor of success
When you have an idea for a business or some endeavour, don’t listen to the negative voices inside your head. Of course, do your due diligence and be cautious of the risks, but once you feel somewhat confident, dive right in. If there’s an equal chance of success as it’s for failure, isn’t the risk worth taking? What if you fly?
If you believe your mind is a great predictor of success, then why aren’t you where you want to be in life right now? Well, that’s just something I wrote in the flow of this writing, but if there’s a 50% failure rate, then doesn’t it mean the remaining 50%…?
16. Always upskill. Take up courses and classes that could enhance your career or make you more money.
17. You will lose some friends along the way. And that’s okay. People’s view of the world changes with time and the wavelength slowly fades. Learn to accept that and move on.
18. Invest in a nice ergonomic chair. Back pain would cost you your peace and break your bank.
19. Buy expensive shits that could enhance your experience but always take into account your financial status before making the decision to buy. That’s the same case with travelling to new places. People say first save money and invest. That’s true. But if you keep saving money, you will miss out on new experiences. These experiences you get from travelling and buying expensive things will motivate you to earn more. And then if you earn more, you can save more, isn’t that so?
20. Find a mentor
If more information is all we need, then everybody on the internet would be a billionaire. – Derek Sivers.The right mentor in your field can help you advance in life more quickly than any amount of book reading or courses.
21. Begin with something
As young people, we think that there’s a lot of potential careers out there for us to try. And that which if we try, could make us successful. That’s true, but if you don’t take a step forward and start with something, considering all the other potential things out there, you won’t progress an inch in life. So start with something, it will lead you on to other opportunities and learnings.
22. People judge a book by its cover
Dress well. Talk confidently and with a pace that is somewhat slow. And don’t flinch in your movements. Exude confidence in everything you do. Work on it. People all over the internet chant, “be yourself.” But if you study great political leaders, and other successful personalities in different fields, you will be amazed to see how critical body language is to their success.
23. Hit the gym. Good for mental health, your overall health, brain functioning, etc… Your confidence skyrockets and you will feel better.
24. Knowing when to quit a career is as important as knowing when to go all into a career. No matter how hard you work on the wrong task, you won’t see any results.
25. Prioritize Sleep.
26. Don’t take everything personally. When someone rejects your business proposal, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you personally. It simply means they don’t like the business proposal. Don’t make this paralyse your future endeavours.
27. And finally, for the love of God, please limit the use of high beams on your motorcycles and other vehicles. My eyes…
Until next time,
Akash
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